Congruence occurs when there is consistency between what a person feels and says and how they act. I am being inconsistent if I say we will meet you for lunch at 12:00 but I arrive at 1:00 or if I promise to call you but never do. Eventually, I find myself walking away from incongruous people, even if I really like that person.
I have noticed that being incongruous is taking its toll on me. I get very tired trying to say or do what I think other people expect of me. Congruence means that I don’t have to present a “mask” to others. It is very liberating and nurturing to operate from a central spiritual center. Unfortunately, those moments are fewer than I would like. I find it interesting that Jesus modeled consistency even when he was a child. When he was 12 years old, he stayed for the Passover in response to a call from above instead of leaving with his family to return to Bethlehem. He was so focused on his goal that he didn’t even tell his parents about his plans. If my son acted that way, I would be quick to criticize him for not being considerate and at least let me know in advance what he was going to do. However, my actions would be spiritually incongruous because I believe that hearing and responding to God is more important than anything else.
The question arises for me as to how I can become more spiritually congruent. In a way, spiritual growth is just a movement toward spiritual congruence. To me, moving closer to “praying without ceasing” would be an example of both spiritual growth and a step toward spiritual congruence.
I find it very difficult to be spiritually congruent. If I’m honest with myself, my actions are rarely fully aligned with my spiritual beliefs. One of the main reasons for my spiritual incongruence is that my life is full of distractions that reduce my ability to dedicate myself 100% to my relationship with God. I find that I can grow spiritually by identifying and removing those obstacles in my life. Some would say that what I do doesn’t matter because only God can “save” me. I am inclined to follow the saying: “Pray a lot, but first tie up your camel.”
At this stage of my spiritual journey, I am not yet able to be spiritually congruent, regardless of what I am doing. I still have to concentrate on “tying my camel” before I can pray effectively. Consequently, I am working to identify and eliminate the distractions that impede my spiritual growth. Practicing spiritual congruence is both a spiritual tool and a spiritual goal.
