There is no doubt that no matter what the circumstances, an affair is devastating. But, it is even worse when the husband can’t seem to separate himself from the other woman or leave her alone. Very often, women contact me asking “how can I get my husband to leave his girlfriend?” or “How can I get him away from her when he can’t seem to leave her alone?” Wives who want to attract their cheating husbands often resort to manipulative tactics intended to make their husbands feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous, but this often just reads as desperation and paints you in a more negative light. Men often don’t have the moral radar or sense of responsibility that women do, so tactics that would work for you or me may not work at all with your husband. In this article, I’ll tell you what I think is the best way to get your husband to leave other women while maintaining your self-esteem.
Understand that you probably can’t reason with your cheating spouse:Many women ask me for advice aimed at “making my husband understand what the affair is doing to me” or “making him see how much the affair hurts me.” What they don’t understand is that men aren’t rational thinkers, especially when they’re in the middle of an adventure. Although it’s hard to hear, her husband is unlikely to hear what he’s saying and respond, “You know, you’re right. Let me stop this now.” It’s not fair, but that’s how it is.
You probably won’t be able to change your husband’s thought process right now. And, you must understand that it is very likely that you will have the adventure to replace something that is missing within him. Notice that he said it himself. Please understand that the fault is within him, not within you. Men cheat because they want to feel desirable, young, alive, competent, and vibrant. And overwhelmingly, this is an emotional rather than a physical need, despite common perception.
Know that the other woman cannot keep up the façade forever: If you take nothing else from this article, please take this. The other woman’s appeal often lies in how she makes her husband feel about himself. It’s not about how she looks or how old she is. It all lies in how she presents the whole low maintenance package. She often does this by taking a light-hearted, no-strings-attached approach. She makes no demands. Everything is fine with her. She is completely laid back and doesn’t require much. But you and I know that no woman can go on like this forever. She’s like every woman who does her best for the first date, but before long he’ll see her in knee-high socks and an old t-shirt and wonder why in the world she’d risk everything for this. She will start to want to know where he is or she will demand more of him and suddenly what was so attractive about this relationship will be gone in an instant. A recent survey indicated that almost 90% of men are incredibly sorry for her affair, so understand that the chances of her husband coming to regret this woman are overwhelming.
The key for you is to know this and bide your time with dignity and respect. Because if you act in a way that is beneath you or unattractive, then both of you will look at you like the poor wife who got the bum treatment. And unfortunately, this is not an attractive image and you are at a distinct disadvantage when this happens.
Turning the tables: As difficult as it may seem at first, you have to take care of yourself out of this whole thing. If her husband is acting like a complete idiot, that’s really her problem, not yours. Put it on the back burner until she realizes her ridiculous mistake and crawls back. Focus on yourself. Go to your friends. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Get yourself a new wardrobe or hairstyle. Don’t wait for him and make sure he knows it. But, do not add another evil to the situation and deceive yourself. This will only make things worse and confuse you more.
What she’s really trying to pull off is a scenario that unfolds just as her husband comes to his senses. And when she looks your way, she sees a confident, classy, self-respecting, attractive woman who, honestly, is just too good for him right now. Whether she decides to accept him or not is entirely up to her. But she is not going to belittle herself by persecuting him or rewarding her unfortunate behavior. Instead, she will allow him to catch her, if she so desires.
