I recently had an interesting interaction on LinkedIn. A young man from a financial services company asked to connect with me, which I agreed. He immediately texted me asking that we meet for coffee for a personal financial review, and he told me that his other clients were VERY (yes, “y-yelled” VERY) satisfied with the work he did. Aside from the fact that I am satisfied with my current financial advisor, I have a little problem with someone on LinkedIn throwing me up right after connecting. I responded with a simple “No thanks.”
A few days later he responded by thanking me and asking why I refused. I had to decide whether to ignore his question or answer. I looked at his profile and decided that I really wanted to know and that I could help him with his launch connection technique. I told him that I thought his attempt to sell me right after connecting was false; that he didn’t take any time to learn about me and didn’t try to develop any points of sympathy. Then he replied with “When did I try to sell you?” I told him that asking to do a personal financial review and telling me that his other clients were VERY satisfied felt like he was throwing me out. Then he replied with “When did I ask to check your personal finances?” At this point, I was curious where this was going, so I made a copy / paste of his original message asking to do a personal financial review. This is where it got really interesting. He responded with the following:
“I never asked you to share your personal financial information online. It was a simple yes or no question. Most of the nice people on LinkedIn are happy to meet me for a chat and coffee. At this point, I’ll pass my offer to meet with you. Good luck in the future. “
I read your message, part amused, part shocked. I found it interesting how he inserted the word “online” into his answer (which was never mentioned before), how it was a simple yes or no question (to which I answered with a simple no), how nice people are glad to meet with him (I guess I’m on his naughty list now), and how he will pass his offer to get together (like he felt like “You can’t break up with me, I’ll break up with you first”). Put a “Best luck to you in the future” tag at the end to pretend to be professional, but it wasn’t enough to keep me from blocking it.
I reflected on this interaction and decided to call one of my sales expert authors, Nikki Rausch, to get her opinion on what happened. I told him the story, and after saying, “Thank you for making my day,” he confirmed that this was a textbook example of a fake sales interaction. While I was glad I didn’t totally misunderstand things, the consultant in me hoped the fellow would have used the feedback as a learning moment. He asked for comments, he didn’t like it, then he told me it wasn’t nice. He gave me a gift; great content for an article …
My only conclusion for you is this: If you are going to ask for comments, be prepared to receive comments that you may not agree with. That doesn’t mean you have to act on the feedback. I made it clear to the guy that my job was to tell him what I thought, his was to decide what to do with it. He could have said “Thanks Lonnie” and went on his way. He took the extra step not only to ignore the comments, but also to try to prove him wrong and subsequently insult me. He never considered the position I was putting myself in. I could have just ignored your request for comment, but I thought you really wanted to know why I didn’t want to meet. Turns out, he didn’t give a damn what I thought. It was all about him. You can add the words “lack of grace and maturity” to false when I think of this person. I may forget your name, but I will always remember the company you work for. That company will never get my business.
Asking for feedback doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Of course, if you don’t understand the comments, ask clarifying questions to help you decide what to do with them. But don’t insult the person you asked; they do not deserve it.