More than any other factor, the quality and success of our lives depends on our ability to communicate. What we say, how we say it and who we talk to is the equivalent of who we are as a person. The more we communicate, and the more we communicate abundantly, the greater our successes in life.
So what does it mean to be an abundant communicator? Surprisingly, while educational level can certainly determine things like vocabulary, diction, and complexity, education does not necessarily dictate abundance and success.
Here are ten factors to consider in becoming an abundant communicator:
1. Get what you want by demonstrating an attitude of giving.
Often referred to as ‘an attitude of gratitude’, this simply means that one is grateful, humble and thinks of the perspective, needs and ideas of the other party or parties in every conversation. Very often when we give, we receive; In other words, when we make others feel that we want to satisfy their need, they will seek to satisfy our need.
This means more than just listening carefully. This means using language that clearly illustrates your concern for the reality and needs of the other person or persons in any given conversation.
2. Always use two parts listening for one part speaking.
Each of us has two ears and one mouth and we must use them in that proportion. “Listening is something magnetic and strange, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move towards. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand” (unknown author).
Listening carefully shows respect, expresses active concern, and plants the seeds of abundance in conversation.
3. Show integrity in both words and actions.
This goes beyond thinking clearly and carefully about what you say and how you say it, and enters the world of your principles. A simple definition of integrity is: a foundation of honest principles that cannot be compromised for any reason. In all communication, look for opportunities to share your integrity.
The actions of your body, your body language, also exemplify your personal integrity. His very character is evident in the manner of his body language. Take note to ensure that your words and actions are always in line with your principles, your integrity.
4. Always consider “what’s in it for them.”
The best of abundance in all of life is found in exploring situations where each person involved wins or gets what they want. As we communicate, we should always consider “what’s in it for them,” which means we should be as mindful as possible of the needs of others.
5. Make concessions to people.
Very often when someone annoys me, I have to think about the nature or character of that other person. Do they have, or could they have, some kind of disorder that I need to consider and therefore keep that in mind? Are they simply unable to be objective or to see the whole picture? Do they have a different perspective for a good reason? Am I considering the possible deficiencies of the other party or parties?
I find that when I am able to compromise with people, the chance of a positive experience (or conversation) increases dramatically. When you allow the reality of the other person, you open yourself up to a greater possibility, a better understanding, and a constructive outcome.
6. Consider the question of credibility.
Similar to considering another person is the question of credibility. When I allow someone to affect me in any way, this effect is directly proportional to the credibility I give that person. If a person doesn’t deserve – or hasn’t earned – any credibility, do I care what they tell me?
When I’m in a conversation with someone who hasn’t gained credibility, I need to keep that fact in mind and not let their words or actions affect me negatively.
7. Choose your battles carefully.
When communicating, always ask yourself the question of value. If the subject has value, then perhaps it is worth “the battle”. Just like when dealing with a child, we must choose our battles carefully and discuss only those points that have merit or value.
8. Know your desired result.
It is virtually guaranteed that when you have a desired outcome (of a conversation) in mind before you have the conversation, the chances of a favorable outcome are very good. This means previewing any given conversation, whenever possible, as to what you want or need from the conversation. Then you can always steer the conversation in that direction.
9. Adjust your verbiage to fit the situation.
Abundance in communication means tailoring your words to fit the situation. For example, he would not use the same words to talk to a child that he would use to sell a business plan to a corporate executive. Be cautiously aware of the exact words you use to communicate.
10. Look for objectivity or open-mindedness and flexibility.
When emotions run riot, it’s easy to become subjective rather than objective. Emotions tend to cloud judgment; stay as calm as possible and yet passionate as appropriate. The greater the objectivity or open-mindedness one employs in communication, the greater the abundance in communication.
Along with having an open mind comes flexibility. No matter how much thought and care we give to our communication, it still won’t always turn out the way we want or expect. Flexibility means accepting that fact, and perhaps using a new and different approach.
In conclusion, abundant communication means being mindful and thoughtful in any given conversation. When we take into account our own integrity, our unwavering principles, and the character, credibility, and needs of the other party, we can begin to communicate effectively.
However, a word of warning is appropriate. Consistently effective communication is perhaps the most challenging task any of us will ever undertake. In my opinion, it’s something that takes a lifetime of practice, and even then it may not always work. Still, when we take these ten factors into account, we stack the odds of abundant communication in our favor at all times.