Rarely have I been accused of overthinking a situation. My “western code” mentality has been good to me over the years, rescuing me many times from the temptation to think unnecessarily! Unnecessary thinking can ruin a perfectly good plan, but not thinking at all can be dangerous to your health! A good example is a situation I witnessed last year.
One bright blue afternoon in late spring, my neighbor Joe was preparing for one of his famous cookouts. He was about to put his new brick-and-mortar barbecue grill to the test for the first time. A beautiful charcoal grill, he had personally supervised, to the chagrin of the masons, every detail of the project. It was a beautiful chimney-style grill with the chimney nearly head-height built from the same brick that graced his house.
The barbecue pit featured a flat, curved black steel hood for cooking in enclosed spaces; with a warming tray built into the side of the pit to prevent foods from getting cold while others cook longer. There was even a compartment built into the opposite side to hold charcoal and a lighter. I was understandably proud of the best BBQ grill in the neighborhood!
The festivities started early with the arrival of the neighbors around 2:00 pm. By late afternoon, many in the crowd were already feeling the effects of the adult beverages provided by the host, who was especially enjoying himself. Everyone had already tired of listening to an endless monologue from the presenter about the virtues of his new grill.
It was time to fire up the grill! There was only one small problem. With all the preparations he had made for the cookout, Joe had forgotten the charcoal lighter! Not to be sidetracked by such a small detail, he went to the tool shed in the back of his yard and fetched a large can of gasoline. After pouring a large amount of charcoal into the bottom of the grill, he arranged it into a perfect pyramid. The fire was supposed to burn more consistently this way Joe informed the crowd.
The neighbors had already realized what Joe was about to do and started yelling at him not to use gasoline to start the fire. Offers were made to run next door to get a charcoal lighter to no avail. Joe was determined to kick off his grill the right way; with a big fire! He also assured everyone that he knew what he was doing!
Joy was enjoying herself, being the star of the show so to speak. She tipped the fuel can over the charcoal and kept pouring even after the briquettes had completely soaked. Now the moment of truth has arrived! He reads a match and with a dramatic flare, she threw it on the coal! Wow!
Mortar is very porous and does not always adhere perfectly to a surface without leaving a small crack in the mortar joint between the bricks. When a liquid like water, or in this case gasoline, fills that crack, it will flow into the base of the structure, like a barbecue grill. The gasoline vapors that flowed onto the grill did what gasoline vapors do when they come into contact with a flame. The grill exploded!
Bricks and mortar blown to pieces rained down from the sky on all of us who had witnessed the explosion! No one was hurt because most of the crowd backed away from Joe when they saw what he was about to do. Joe was slightly injured by a grill fragment that grazed his forehead. Nothing serious!
His grill was a mess! A few seconds before, it was a beautiful example of workmanship; something to be proud of and enjoy for years to come. Now it was just a mile of rocks! Apparently, Joe had never heard that in some cases, alcohol and gasoline don’t mix! Caveat! Drinking and making fire with gasoline can kill you! Whether you’re drinking adult beverages or not, don’t use gasoline to light charcoal!
My neighbor Joe has recovered from last year’s disaster. He is now making plans to build an even larger charcoal stove than the previous one. From the size of the storage area in the bbq pit, I doubt I’ll ever be without a charcoal starter again!
Remember, friends don’t let friends barbecue get drunk!
