You’ve probably had some rotten jobs in the past, but I bet none of them were as bad as the jobs from medieval times.
ratcatcher
Not exactly the kind of flashy name to attract new employees in search ads. However, rat catchers were actually held in high esteem by the townspeople. Rats, mice, and other vermin were often carriers of many diseases and afflictions. A rat catcher who could rid a city of these critters could be very well rewarded. However, putting himself in unpleasant places and risking his own health was, as they say, with the territory, since he frequently came into contact with sick or rabid animals.
Gravedigger
This field was a growth industry during the Middle Ages, as war, famine, and disease provided much “raw material” for the gravedigger. Like the rat catcher, a busy digger could earn a good income.
Delivery courier
Hmmm, this doesn’t sound like a bad job. After all, how hard can it be to deliver messages? You’ve no doubt heard the term “don’t kill the messenger.” This gives you a clue about the main problem with being a courier. Often the delivered message was not well received. The messenger was the lucky victim of this wrath which frequently led to the death or imprisonment of the unfortunate messenger.
Undermine
The need for gold or silver was very important to most kingdoms as a way to deploy their armies and expand their territories. Although the miners’ salaries were above average, they had to work in very dangerous conditions. If cave-ins, deadly gases, and cave-ins weren’t bad enough, a miner wouldn’t see the light of day for two or three days straight. They weren’t especially skilled, but the job required a certain raw determination to overcome constant obstacles.
leech collector
Leeches were widely used for centuries as a medical aid. The idea was that leeches would suck the bad blood out of a sick person, leaving only the good blood. Obviously, leeches had to be found. Enter the leech collector. Pretty easy job: just walk through the muddy swamp water and let the leeches attach to your legs. When you have “collected” a sufficient number, return to the mainland and take them out. Ah, therein lies the rub, as Shakespeare once said. The leeches not only constantly sucked blood while attached, but if not removed correctly, their teeth became embedded in the flesh. This condition often leads to discharge, infection, and rarely, death. Even if the removal is done correctly, the sores that remain can easily become infected. I can see the ad for this job “Work outdoors, leisurely walk through natural water, collect valuable animals used in medical treatment. Will be trained, no experience needed.”
Fuller
Even taking the jobs described above into account, this may be the worst job of medieval times. To remove grease and other impurities from newly woven woolen cloth, it had to be placed in a vat of stale urine and then stepped on for hours (sort of like crushing grapes, but not quite as nice). In addition to the obvious stench, the fuller had to be constantly on the alert to ensure that the entire batch of wool was treated evenly; if not, the whole batch was ruined and the process would have to start all over again. That would really make me PO’d if that happened!
firecracker engineer
This job sounds good; after all, an engineer is quite a prestigious profession. However, being a firecracker engineer was not so glamorous during medieval times. A firecracker was a small bomb used to blow up enemy fortifications, such as castle walls or gates. The engineer’s job was to run as fast as possible avoiding the enemy arrows, while he carried the lit firecracker that he would eventually place next to the fortification (assuming he got that far). If the fuse was a bit “short” or faulty, then the firecracker would detonate before it was set, gently lifting the unfortunate engineer into the air for a better view of his surroundings. Therefore, the term “Hooked up with his own firecracker” is used to describe a situation where a person is harmed by his own actions.
treadmill operator
No, there were no sports or health clubs in the medieval world. Instead, think of a giant hamster wheel attached about a hundred feet high on a cathedral that’s not yet finished. The operator would trudge for hours, turning the large wheel that moved a winch attached to a crane that then lifted the construction material. In addition to the mundane nature of the job, it was also dangerous in the sense that if the entire set had been poorly built or suddenly struck by bad weather, the entire device could collapse. Many times, blind people did this work since they didn’t really need to see where they were stepping.
spanking boy
Yes, there really was a job called a spanked child. When the prince misbehaved or fell behind in his education, only the king had the divine right to administer the punishment. But, alas, the king was often away, doing what kings do when they are not in their castles. So, no king, no punishment for the prince. But someone had to pay. Enter the spanking boy. Normally, he had been raised and educated with the prince since his birth. Often, a bond of friendship developed between the two. The idea was that since they were such good friends, when the spanking boy received his punishment, the prince felt at least emotional pain for his friend.
This job seems similar to that of a firefighter. Long time sitting, waiting, and they – bam! – Are you at work. Not a word about what happened to the whipped boy once the prince became king. He maybe he became the whipped man, although that title doesn’t really cut it.