The tragedy of modern life
The tragedy of modern life is that, despite being rich in many ways, most people feel dissatisfied on some level. Objectively, we’ve never had it so good; however, many of us feel that something is missing in our lives. We have jobs we almost tolerate, irregular relationships and failed marriages, and take comfort in the unprecedented excess of entertainment available to distract us from the fact that our lives don’t seem to mean as much as we once hoped.
It does not have to be this way. When we were kids, a week seemed to last forever. There was so much we were exposed to that it was new. Every day was another adventure, full of mysteries, discoveries and fun. But as adults, time seems to pass faster. Days go by and whole weeks go by at once. Very soon we are looking back over a year or more, and realize with sadness that not much has changed. Halfway through, we set the same resolutions that we failed to make a dent in the year before. Or we reign in our ambitions and convince ourselves that our life is not so bad.
Then every once in a while you do something that makes you feel alive. It could be the warm sun, the wind in your hair, or something fun you do with a friend. It can be while you are on vacation or during a night out. It may be something you set out to do, or it may be a happy accident. But every now and then you find yourself feeling alive.
It’s about those moments when you feel alive
Here’s the thing: not all moments are the same. An experience that makes you feel alive is worth many times more than an equivalent period of numbness on autopilot.
We know instinctively. When you look back at all the moments in your life so far that have meant something, that make you smile when you remember, you don’t think about the thousands of times you brushed your teeth. You think about the peak experiences. The ones that made you feel joy, passion, emotion.
I call those adventure. And the trick to a full life is to have more of them.
(See my novel, Titus Powell’s ‘The Dare Ring’ for an entertaining and extreme fictional example of this.)
The human impulses that prevent us from feeling alive
But why are so many of us dissatisfied in the first place? Since we all want to feel happy, why are so many of us stuck in a rut? The answer is due to two basic human tendencies: (1) the tendency to develop routines and (2) the tendency to avoid the unknown. By recognizing them, we gain control over them.
The ability to form routines is vital behavior and frees up our resources to do other things. It’s incredibly efficient to form a pattern for brushing your teeth so you don’t have to waste mental energy figuring it out every day. The same with tying shoelaces and a thousand other things we do every day. If we didn’t have routines, we couldn’t function in the world. So the routines are not the problem; the problem is when we leave too of our lives become routine. The impulse to reduce everything to a routine will make every day identical and boring if we allow it.
The other human tendency is our avoidance of the unknown. Certainly sticking to what is familiar is a safer strategy, or was in the days of cavemen, so over the millennia we have developed a wariness towards things and activities that are different. By doing what we know won’t kill us, over and over again, we stand a good chance of living a long, albeit somewhat empty, life.
But if you think about the moments when you felt most alive, they are Never part of a routine, and they forever they imply some degree of the unknown. The day of your marriage, the dream vacation, the birth of a child, everything implies that something new happens, a pause of their usual routines.
And right there is the key to having more experiences of this type: more joy, more emotion, more fun, more adventure. You need to recognize your tendency to avoid the unknown and fall into routines. and then you need do something different.
Break the routine and embrace the unknown
You don’t have to throw away routines; that would be counterproductive. But you can accomplish a lot by taking breaks from them.
This is not a new concept. People take vacations as often as they can, specifically to break the routine of work. But our lives are filled with more subtle habits and routines that we never think to question. We come home the same way every day. But what if once in a while, instead of driving, you took the bus? What if instead of taking the bus, you took the train? What if instead of taking the train, you took the ferry or skated or walked? You may remember it more. And maybe you could even have an affair along the way.
What other clothes could you temporarily break? Who could you spend time with that you normally don’t? What places could you go? What activities could you do?
If you Dyed do something different tomorrow to make it memorable and fun… what could it be?
adventure lifestyle
adventure lifestyle it’s an attitude. It’s a mindset that the unknown is not something to fear, but a place of opportunity. It is the resolution I feel alive is more important than anything else. It is the primordial desire to reach old age with a long list of happy adventures to remember and feel good about.
It’s not about being young or athletic. You can feel alive without even stepping on a snowboard. Adventure is completely relative to what you’re used to. For a person, signing up for salsa classes can be a huge leap into the unknown and, as a result, a fitting reward. Another person might be a regular skydiver and find it easy, but a more exciting challenge might be talking to an attractive stranger. Someone else might find it easy to be the life of the party but can’t hold down a job, so they might look for ways to act differently in that area.
What is different and a little scary, is what will be most rewarding for you.
Try it!
I invite you to try it for a day. Approach all of tomorrow with the mindset that you have an adventurous lifestyle. Every time you have the opportunity to do something differently, try it. Keep looking for opportunities for adventure throughout the day. Challenge yourself to take a step into the unknown. It’s not one huge, scary leap into the unknown, but many small steps. Wake up with the intention of making tomorrow memorable and find ways to do it throughout the day until you’re lying in bed that night smiling to yourself.
You will find that it is easy to do and much more rewarding than the forgettable day that would have been otherwise.
Then, of course, you’ll begin to realize that every day can be full of adventure and possibility. All that is needed is the will to move into the unknown instead of away from it. But you don’t need to think about that now.
Just try it!