I now consider myself an experienced letter of recommendation writer. Now this is not something that would appear on any business card (assuming you had business cards), nor is it something that is printed on the t-shirts available to buy at the mall (unless I have made my own t-shirt or my own Mall). . But over the past few years, I have found myself writing many letters to many different colleges and not necessarily having fun as I could be if I wrote “the letter.” That’s right, a letter so great it deserves to be in quotes. Not because of how flattering it is to the student, but because it is the exact opposite. And now I have decided to give myself the opportunity to fulfill my wish …
Recommendation for John P. Idiot
In my years of teaching, never has a student touched me as much as John P. Idiot. Even when I tell him that I don’t want his hands to be on me, or anywhere near, he still touches me. Until someone else enters the room, in which case it will touch that person.
But it is not John’s ability to touch people that has earned him his primary reputation at our school. Even more notable is his title as the person who has asked the most girls out and subsequently been rejected the most. While this may not seem relevant to a college recommendation at first glance, I think it shows that you are capable of overcoming adversity over and over and over again, and as a result, you are still not a changed person. And that’s unfortunate because there is so much to change about John. I’m not saying this in a negative way, of course. It’s just that John has more problems than a standard newspaper archive, and maybe only two or three less than a zoo without fences.
In addition to being able to see John develop as a person (probably more than I would have liked, thanks to an incident on the moon), I also had the opportunity to see John develop as a scholar. When he turned in his first essay during his sophomore year, for example, it wasn’t very good. In fact, it was the worst essay I have ever read, real or fictional. But his next rehearsal, a couple of weeks later, was one of the best in the class. In fact, the words jumped off the page like basketball players and the message shot out like it was in a bottle for many years. And although I later found this exact essay on the internet, this plagiarism does not take away from the fact that John was able to identify a good essay and steal it accordingly. I can’t say the same for other students, who prefer their mothers to do their work. John would never ask his parents for help, at least not after that incident with the ammonia and phosphorous a few months ago. But that is not important for this evaluation.
What’s really important is that John was a stellar participant in the classroom. There were times when students were in the middle of a big discussion about a novel, and John would say, “I have to go to the bathroom.” While this completely ruined the momentum of the conversation, it showed me that John knows what he wants and is able to identify these needs when the time comes. I noticed that when John came back, usually 15 minutes later and smelling of smoke, he seemed content in the sense that he had achieved his goal, which is important in our goal-oriented society. Another example of his ability to achieve his goals is when I heard him proclaim, “Oh my gosh, I’m going to totally fail this test” and he did exactly that.
Outside of the classroom, John is known for his involvement in extracurricular activities, none of which should be mentioned in this letter, although they do reveal him as a leader and a “person of the people.” He also attends most school functions and always returns to the building when he is kicked out.
In short, John will have a huge impact on your college next year if you just give him the opportunity to do so. Since his university is located many miles from where I teach, I think it is ideal for him.
Sincerely,
Gregory gagliardi
