This concept has always interested me. Women will complain that they are “flirted” all the time and guys will talk about “flirting” with girls.
Some men even admit that there is simply NO other way to approach women because you are a man, so obviously you MUST be interested in her sexually.
This is also a limiting belief.
What are the true relational dynamics that exist in this reality framework? We’ll see ..
‘Flirting’ implies that the man is interested in some way (usually sexually) and is going to do something to try to impress her so that she is interested in him.
Unfortunately for most men today, “flirting with girls” almost never works. Even for a man who has ‘gambling’, it is usually the subculture of women who know they are in the game that will then assess their skill level and congruence.
But for most men in first world countries …
When a man approaches a woman, he almost always realizes if he is going to “flirt” with her.
In many cases, it will even try to use “pickup lines”.
Women have become so adept at this after hundreds of different men (who all look the same) walked up to them and “flirted” with them.
They have become very aware and enthusiastic about what is happening and can see it from a mile away.
They can tell by the non-verbal body language and communication of the man that he is ‘interested’ in her and that she has the favor in the relationship because he is trying to ‘get something’.
Is there any way to avoid it? In fact, there is.
Remember in Swingers when ‘T’ talks about being the ‘R rated guy’?
While many guys focus on “the game,” they are missing the most important key to success. If they couldn’t play the “game” and instead keep their own power to themselves, they could approach women invisibly and indifferent to the outcome.
Women would try to find out where he comes from and whether he is interested or not because his body language reveals nothing more than that he is comfortable in his own skin and is not intimidated by her.
He’s not trying to ‘get something’ or ‘flirt with her’, in fact he’s just making a connection and being social.
His body language is what is sending the right message and sometimes when women realize that he is not really afraid of her or is trying to get somewhere, the light will turn on and they will start responding to him (as you know). supposed to be). ).
After all, it is the woman’s level of interest that determines whether some type of relationship will proceed.
But where are the men who play this powerful and invisible game? Women seek out this man because they want to be carried away by his excitement and intrigue.
They are very tired of men coming up and flirting with them.
In the relationship where the men beat them, she has the power and the favor and that’s not what she wants. She wants a man who is equal to or greater in relational power than her.
That way she will be attracted to him.
Yes, today’s women live in a logic vs. Natural instinctual paradox, but don’t blame them for it. Look at your actions instead of your words.
If you don’t understand the fundamental behavioral characteristics they represent, you will continue to think that women are illogical, and you will probably continue to think that the only way is to reveal their power and mystery in advance so that you have to “ get it right. ” ‘women.
And what about guys who are uncontrollably interested in her sexually?
Well that’s the problem because they are giving up their power and ruining their (what becomes) ‘opportunity’ all the time.
It’s time for men to take advantage of the same lever of power that women have and gain some self-control because they may not actually be interested in her other characteristics.
This will require a bit of deprogramming and advanced training to change your reality of ‘flirting with girls’, playing the ‘game’ and failing one to attract women and get them constantly interested because he keeps his power to himself.
And do you notice how so many people call it “being lucky”? That whole framework is one in which women have power and control.
If you want to be successful with women, YOU have to be the one with the power and control in the relationship because that is what attracts them and words cannot do it justice.
Know the truth and live it, don’t get caught up in the socially devised ‘game’. Become the ‘R’ rated guy that women can’t understand where you come from and get THEM interested in you.